Every time the weekend comes and I try to book a massage, I always unexpectedly end up tasting different flavors of "drunken chicken," eh

Honestly~ sometimes I end up booking a therapist who went out drinking the night before; when they’re at work the smell of alcohol hasn’t worn off. Some hungover therapists give a sloppy massage, but there are also hungover therapists who massage very seriously.

The hungover therapists always give off an intoxicating scent of alcohol. Their skin is pink all over like undercooked shrimp. During the massage their palms feel faintly warm, and the pressure feels especially pleasant. When they’re sweating profusely, the sweat mixes with the alcohol that didn’t leave from the night before.

Sometimes I can even use my golden tongue (wildly trembling + throbbing) to taste and tell whether it was beer, a cocktail, a shot, or a day of free‑for‑all drinking,

The salty sweat carries a faint aroma of booze. When some are willing to let me eat down there I especially love it and get especially excited — maybe I like drinking, and I’m particularly fascinated by lazy bits that have alcohol in them. You must be wondering whether the hungover “juice” at the end tastes good — I’ll tell you~~ it’s super tasty. Like love itself, different kinds of drunk produce different flavors.

Hungover whisky - like three-cup chicken; the basil note is rather light

Hungover beer - there’s a slight fizziness inside, with a malty bitter-sweetness

Hungover red/white wine - almost always on the tart side — possibly tannic

Hungover cocktails - both sour and sweet (higher sugar levels/diabetes can also affect it)

Hungover mixed booze - blue cheese notes (personally my least favorite; a sort of rotten sourness that stings the taste buds and is hard to swallow)

Have any of you had similar experiences? Or is there a therapist whose "drunken chicken" you can recommend I go try? (golden tongue + drooling ing)