My first time at a massage parlor within the scene

At a place in Ximen, Taipei

There was a small, adorable newcomer who made my heart flutter

He had only been in the business a few months

Through the whole service process

By the last part

I instinctively refused

Because I didn't want to treat him like a commodity

Later, during my weekly reflections

Once he said

He wasn't as good as I imagined

Many things probably weren't something he could accept

I thought I could have no taboos and decide for myself

I thought I could see through the idea that a real man need not worry about being without a wife

Until I saw a friend's share and like on Twitter

That familiar him

Appearing in videos and app conversations with many different people

Suddenly made me recall

The lingering tone of that conversation

Could it be that, before he left this line of work

All that tenderness was just a false, illusory softness?

In the end

After much thought I sent him a message

He replied with a brief blessing!

Afterwards, when I went to other shops

And booked other therapists

I truly became clear-headed

I really treated in-scene massages

As products, as services

Perhaps I cannot completely deny that genuine feelings exist

But I also saw clearly that the vast majority

Are just straightforward money-for-goods transactions